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Single but want another baby

I would like to have another baby but I am divorced. My ex husband has said he will be the father but he has remarried and his wife probably won’t be happy about us having sex again. Instead we are just going to tell her we used artificial insemination instead of the truth.
Want others experiences on it so we don’t get caught out lying. What do they do and what sort of feelings do you experience? What do they use to do it?


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Answers (20)

Can you just imagine this post next year:

'My husband has fathered a child with his ex-wife behind my back. I feel so betrayed, I don't know what to do. Does he still love her? Should I leave him? How can I ever trust him again?'

Now OP, think of what you would write in response to that. Because that is why this is a horrible, selfish idea.

Now look deeper and think of how you will explain it to your child when they're older:

'Well honey, I wanted another child and even though I had no partner I thought it was a good idea to have one with your dad, even though he was married to someone else. Yes, it cost them their marriage, and yes, it was an awkward situation with your dad after that, and yes, your siblings do blame your birth for how devastated their father was after the second divorce. I'm not sure why he did it - but probably because he is an irresponsible man with no moral compass who is really easy to manipulate when motivated by sex. So basically, all of these current problems are because he's awful and I wanted another child and I didn't care who I hurt to get one.'

Find a partner, use a sperm donor, put eggs on ice, buy a puppy - but don't follow this hideous idea.

 Perfect response.
helpful (2) 
OP He will tell her before we do it we are just lying about how it’s getting done. I don’t want to spend money on something I can get for free.
helpful (0) 
 How you plan on doing it is called cheating.
helpful (8) 
OP It’s not really cheating. We have already been married and had children. It’s just adding to our family, almost a business transaction. It isn’t for fun or lust.
helpful (0) 
 Then I’m sure his wife will be ok with it then! 🙄 Of course it’s cheating! Having kids with him already and having being married to him for years means nothing. You’re not married to him now. Someone else is.
helpful (9) 
 Can you say denial?
helpful (2) 
 He'll tell her? Haha "Honey could you pick up some milk and also I'm going to have another kid with my ex via insemination, K see you at 6 xx"
helpful (4) 
 Well what if she says no?
helpful (3) 
 And how expensive is it to get sperm inseminatuon? Is that cost really worth the lie?
helpful (2) 

My husband physically can’t have children so should I just lie to him and f**k my ex?
I’m not stating you are a bad person because I don’t know you from a bar of soap.. but f**k me this is a horrible idea.
Do you understand how easy and non expensive it is to just get your ex husbands sperm and I pregnant yourself without putting his c**k inside you..? You both obvisouly want to have sex with each other.. you getting pregnant is just a bonus for you.
Don’t even say “no I don’t want to have sex with him I just want a baby” cut the shit you can easily do it without sitting on his c**k and if you don’t think that then you are dumb as all f**k.

helpful (0) 
 Exactly. Agreed with her. That's how I get my son without having proper sex as my husband was physically incapable of having sex that time. Just insert sperm in to your vagina. But if u want to go in sex path , you will be the biggest cheater.
helpful (0) 

And how many times are you planning on having sex with someone elses husband before you conceive 😳
Ridiculous idea. Find yourself a new baby daddy. If you and your ex wanted more kids “together” then you should’ve stayed together.
Family units are not traditional anymore. I have a school friend with 5 kids, 3 different dads. She aint no hoe that’s just how life worked out for her. They’re all still brothers and sisters regardless of the dad situation. I’m assuming current wife isn’t an air head, there’s more to IVF than a cover up story. It’s kind of like saying your pregnant but stuffing a pillow under your shirt and faking the symptoms.

OP We will have sex as many times as it takes. We got pregnant really quickly the first three times.
helpful (0) 
 Is artificial insemination really so expensive????
helpful (0) 
 "Wow mum.. You are a really bitch".
100% sure, One day you will hear it from your other three childern.

helpful (1) 

OP, how would you honestly feel if you were the new wife, and your new husband was banging his ex to knock her up, especially without your okay on the matter? Doing it all behind your back, looking for creative ways to lie to you about it...

OP She wouldn’t find out we were having sex. That’s why I need to know about experiences and feelings for artificial insemination. I have decided to try the syringe method above anyway.
helpful (0) 
 You didn't answer the question.
helpful (1) 

Hey OP, did you notice the hashtags on your question? Even the SAHM bot thinks this is a betrayal.

  Huh? The sahm bot? What's a bot??
helpful (1) 
 A program that automatically scans for keywords and assigns tags/categories etc
helpful (0) 
 ^ I think they actually have a staff member do the hashtags manually because they’re often full of typos
helpful (1) 

Why did you get divorced if you still want to have sex and raise kids together?

 Because she didn’t like him cheating on her but it’s ok if he’s cheating ‘with’ her
helpful (3) 

This is wrong. If my husband did this I would be concerned I might kill him let alone leave him. What a low act for both if you to consider. Artificial insemination is still not good enough. That is also betraying his WIFE that neither of u seem to give a shit about. And I think he just wants his cake and eat it too but by cake I mean your love muffin. Haven't you ever heard of a sperm donor? That is your option right now. Why do u even need another baby if u have 3? Is it because your youngest is approaching 8 years old and u will be taken off parenting payment and expected to work?

 My thoughts exactly
helpful (1) 
OP Why would i needs sperm donor when he has perfectly good sperm and is a great active father. How will the new child feel when their siblings go to dad on his days and he or she has to stay home with no father. I’m not bringing a child up without a man to help.
helpful (0) 
 ^ OMFG. I hope your children don’t end up like you.
helpful (3) 

wouldn’t your husband rather have a child with his current wife, rather than having to pay more child support to a child with his ex wife? It makes no sense.

What does make sense is he wants to cheat on his wife with you.

OP She doesn’t want children and we already have children together.
helpful (0) 
 What does having children with him already have to do with it? He still needs to support them. That’s a pretty big secret to eke from his wife. Have you for a moment considered her in this?
helpful (3) 

Great...another breeder my hard earned tax dollars will go too 😠😠

Okay, so this is a shit idea. I have a lot of negative thoughts about this, but I'm trying to keep them in (because most people have already summed up how vile this is).

But, if you're serious, why not say the conception is from a one night stand, but that he wants to support the baby financially because it's his childs sibling and he feels like its the right thing to do.

Still trying not to be a bitch, but, have you thought about whether he has any ulterior motives here. Maybe he has contracted herpes since the split and wants to pass them on to you. Maybe he intends to take no responsibility for this child. Maybe he just wants to see his new wife punch you in the face for suggesting this arrangement at all.
Just something to think about.

 I think his wife would have something to say about him supporting a child apparently not his. That is, if she even believed that ridiculous story.

I do agree with everyone else though. A terrible (and vile TBH) idea. If you want to break up his marriage, then it’s perfect.

helpful (0) 
OP His wife would accuse him of still being in love with me again if that was our cover story. Thanks for actually giving a solution rather than judgement.
helpful (0) 
 You weren’t expecting judgement ? Really ?
helpful (3) 
OP Yes. I was expecting a group of women to come together in sisterhood and understand my problem. Instead most are judging me without even knowing anything about me.
helpful (0) 
 I really hope he gives you herpes 🤣
helpful (3) 
 You were "expecting a group of women to come together in sisterhood and understand [my] problem"? Seriously? You don't HAVE a problem; you ARE the problem.

helpful (5) 

Omg OP. Can you hear yourself. Is this post for real??

 She can. She just thinks she’s in the right and everyone else is being judgemental.
helpful (4) 
 I'd have myself sterilised if I ever starting thinking like the OP
helpful (2) 

Well your ex hubby has to jerk off into a turkey baster. Once he has then you shove it up your clunge and release all the little babies.

 Clunge 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
helpful (0) 
OP Would that really work? We have decided we will have sex but just need a cover so she doesnt leave him.
helpful (0) 
 It does, but sex is of course more effective. Sperm are fragile little things and don’t live long.
helpful (1) 
 You need a cover so she doesn’t leave him? ...... so you know what you’re doing is wrong? Hope she finds out. Absolutely disgusting.
helpful (6) 
 I am pretty much sure , that's what op really needs. Wife find out, so she will leave the hubby. Then op can get back the hubby.
Otherwise why she really needs a fourth..?

helpful (1) 
 Firstly I spoke to my husband about his. He said if I gave birth to my ex husbands child whether it was artificially done or not would be unforgivable.
I spoke to my ex and his fiance. She said if she discovered he'd fathered another child to me it would be the biggest betrayal, even more so with sex thrown in, and she'd leave him and take everything she could and make his life hell haha. Then we all had a laugh at your expense that you're clearly a selfish, brain dead, brat.
If you want more, why don't you foster? Or failing that, just spread your legs to anything that moves and pop out some random baby? You clearly don't care where it comes from as long as you get what you want

helpful (3) 

Sex with an ex? You're playing with fire and do you really want to be a part of what is technically an affair on his part??