Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Gender reveal parties are a crock of shit. Discuss

Can't stand the self absorbed twats who throw gender reveal parties. Like WTF! What a couple of months and every one will know what the sex of your baby is and will come to celebrate when it is actually here. What's next. My child rolled over for the first time breakfasts or my child pooped in the toilet drinks! It is a waste of time, money and energy. The only reason people go to them is for the free alcohol.

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (17)

And in 4 years time the child is going to change their gender to a inter dimensional purple unicorn. It’s all pointless.

 Lol
helpful (1) 

We celebrate everything,We love a party.
We celebrate Sundays with huge family lunch, we celebrate with a BBQ when someone gets a promotion, we celebrate when my kids get an award at school, we celebrate and throw a poo party when my 2 year old does a poo.

We even celebrate when our family pass away. 3 weeks ago I lost my mum, her funeral was bright, balloons everywhere, a band playing music, dancing, crying, no one wore black.

We love to celebrate.

And babies are one of our biggest celebrations, we have a baby showers for every baby (so horrible, I know I know)

We spoil every new born and new parent with hoards or food and presents, and the first Sunday lunch is all about our new little addition to all our live.

F**k if you can't even get happy and celebrate a baby and all it's awesomeness you need to change the way you look at life, cos life's too awesome to be so negative.

Everything about a baby is worth celebrating and any reason to be together in joy is wonderful!

And it's fun finding out the gender! And it's a privilidge someone loves you enough to want you part of that moment.


Viva la party, life too damn short.
Drink champagne at midday.
Celebrate all the good and fun in the world.

 How many celebrations of a baby do you need? OP isn’t saying babies shouldn’t be celebrwted. But gender reveals are taking it to the extreme. I don’t think it’s a privilege to be part of it TBH. Because not everyone is excited as the parents to be and close family members. And I think for some it’s something else to gram, and nothing more. So maybe just keep it to those who actually care, not every person you know.
helpful (5) 
 If you don't want to be a part of a gender reveal party, you know you can decline the invitation right? You don't need to attend.
helpful (5) 
 Of course. But if someone I wasn’t close to me invites me to half a dozenof their pre birth baby events and there was an expectation of gifts, I wouldn’t see that as someone wanting to include me in a special time but a gift grab. And my opinion of them would not be a good one. Some times you can celebrate with nearest and dearest and that’s ok, you don’t need to turn every single thing into a mammoth event, that’s my point.
helpful (4) 
 Well hubby took me out to dinner when we found out, we made a big cake for the Sunday dinner we told everyone, we didn't do a gender reveal , which I regret, but we celebrate the birth day and all birthdays there after.

We celebrate it all, cos we don't want to just get together with everyone for weddings and funerals.

Parties with a reason often bring more people and the more the merrier!!!

You need as many celebrations as you want, and you don't want to celebrate? Don't come, it's not hard.

helpful (5) 
 If you sent me a reveal invite, for the reasons I outlined above, I probably wouldn’t attend. So nope, not hard.
helpful (0) 
 Do you need a reaaon for a big family get together? Why do you need a gender reveal to have a party? Parties like that I would feel obliged to bring a gift. If it was just a party for no reason, I wouldn’t. I think like all the things that comes with weddings, things that come with babies are getting expensive. People are already stretched pretty far as it is. That is the issue I have with them. And if it’s more a party than an event, just have the party. Because if people who are already overextended feel they need to bring a gift to a specific event, they might just not turn up.
helpful (4) 
 If you read my comment, we do, every Sunday.

But occasions with a "reason" often bring the extras.

helpful (0) 
 I stopped taking your post seriously when you said poo party.
helpful (2) 
 Then you took it too seriously
helpful (4) 
 I'm a different responder, the thing is, with big family get togethers (at least with my family and my in laws) is the more often they occur the less pressure there is to bring a gift. Even for big events like christenings and such. And the gifts often become less expensive and more personal. For example, I used to do big meals and family get togethers every weekend and huge bbqs once a month for all the family and friends. Often times it was as simple as "bring a plate if you want to have a specialty dish, otherwise just BYO drinks" then when we had my sons first birthday/christening (we always combine the two events) the only gifts we really got were very personal ones. Like a photo montage of our son over the year, and my brothers handmade bib from when he was a baby, and someone else made a big cake. That was it. We had about 50 people, and we got about 3-4 gifts. So it wasn't really a high pressure present situation if you get what I mean. The dynamic changes.
helpful (2) 
 A poo party!! Great idea! For my child that developed an awful fear of pooing. For months on end. Was holding it inside. Made us all sick with worry.
A poo party may have taken the stress out of it for us all and given the poor little poppet something positive to restart on.

Wish I thought of this 😁😁☺️☺️

helpful (0) 

I don't really give a shit what kind of parties people decide to have 🤷‍♀️

I also hate cake smashes ugh who came up with that shit

 I had a cake smash for both my kids. But it was just for fun and I didn’t turn it into an event..... ie we didn’t invite people over for it. It was a number 1 cake, and some photos in the backyard.
helpful (1) 
 Probably a photographer I'd guess
helpful (1) 
 I love cake smashes. It’s fun and the kid hasn’t fun. It’s not very often they get a cake put in front of them that they can destroy.

helpful (0) 
 The kid has fun*
helpful (0) 
 Hate them as well. Something about them just seems really off to me, I think it's the 'wasting food' factor. I KNOW there is so much more wasted food happening everywhere else in the world, supermarkets throwing away day old bread & not buying oddly shaped apples etc. But to me buying a cake that is baked & decorated for the purpose of being destroyed, not eaten, seems like the ultimate symbol of first world throwaway culture.
helpful (2) 
 Both my kids had a cake smash, and saying smash is being liberal. They hardly demolished the cake at all. And most of it got eaten after. Not like it was a massive cake and if it had all been demolished there wouldn’t have been mass amounts of waste at all. I’ve seen more waste at parties for adults in which food isn’t eaten and needs to be thrown out.
helpful (0) 
 ^ I should have added to that, I made and decorated the cakes myself.
helpful (0) 

I just want to see a 'Baby Daddy Reveal', to show who the real father is. Imagine that.

 I would go to that party!
helpful (2) 
 Oh I know a couple of women who I WISH had done this!! It’s absolutely none of my business but not knowing who fathered their babies just makes me more interested to find out 😱
helpful (1) 
 There used to be a show Maurie popich . Like jerrie Springer . A lady came on to reveal to the dad of her baby that he might not be the dad. He did a paternity test and he wasn't. She admitted that she got drunk at a party and had cheated then later revealed it was with more than one guy. Turns out there was a line of guys down the hallway! They found 29 of them yes 29! And tested them and none of them were the father either . Must have been lucky number 30 :-/ gross
helpful (0) 
 Ewwwwwwwwwq 🤮
helpful (0) 

I wouldn’t have one but I’ll go to them if I’m invited cause parties are fun.
I get to buy a baby gift or mum gift (depends on friend) and wear my nice things without my children around plus I’ve never been to one without decent food.
Win, win, win

Yeah, it’s quite a self centred event. I’m not a fan either.

 Well, every birthday, engagement, wedding is self-centred too.
helpful (0) 

Yeah totally agree. Runs on the assumption that everyone they know is DYING TO FIND OUT the gender of their child when in reality nobody really cares except them.

 No just sour pots like you don't care. Some of us get really excited for and with others.
helpful (4) 
 I never found out the gender of my baby until he was born. But I had many people constantly asking, wanting to look scan photos so they could guess.
helpful (0) 
 Sorry, how does thinking they are ridiculous make one a sour puss? Or does everyone need to get excited about the same things as you?

THis is a discussion, why can’t people put forth their opinions without being called names? Childish.

helpful (2) 
 This comment right here is why people can't have conversation, she assumes her negative opinion is everyone's....

A sour pot, a killjoy, a negative nancy. Take your pick this comment one of them would say...
"Everyone shares my negative opinion no body cares about your excitement, no body cares you wanna share that."

helpful (0) 
 Right, so unless you think every single thing requires a party then you’re negative? Please. I think reveal parties are too much. Am I saying don’t have one? No. I’m saying I wouldn’t have one or attend one. (Unless it was a very close friend or family member, and I’d go because I love them. I would never force my opinion on them). If a friend sent me an invite, I’m not going to tell them why I don’t like them, I’m just going to politely decline. That is not being negative.

This thread asked for opinions on them. So surely we can give opinions without being called a sour puss?

helpful (1) 
 No actually you said no body cares, and used a sarcastic diss (DYING TO FIND OUT) you even made the point of shouting it.


helpful (1) 
 You used your opinion to speak for everyone. And it was kinda negative.
helpful (0) 
 ^just to clarify, I didn’t write the post to which we are replying. I did say we can surely say we don’t agree without being called negative or a sour pussyfoot.
helpful (0) 
 Just speaking for myself. I didn’t say ‘we the opposed’. I said ‘I think, and I feel’.
helpful (0) 
 ^ lol ok, so reread my post and I did say ‘surely we can put forth opinions without being called names’ so yes ok speaking for everyone. But just on that point. Surely everyone, regardless of which side of the fence we sit can put forth an opinion without being called a name? On everything else I said, I’m speaking for myself.
helpful (0) 
 I never said sour puss foot or sour puss, that seems a bit more Spitful to me.
I said sour pot. As in you're being a sour pot lighten up.

helpful (2) 
 What’s the difference between sour puss and sour pot? Never heard of a sour pot, thought you meant sour puss.
helpful (1) 
 Sour puss sounds more spite filled and mean spirited , sour pot is more lighthearted...
kinda like calling someone a floozy vs wh**e.

helpful (0) 
 I am the OP of this comment. I am happy and excited when close friends or family members are having a baby. But I do not particularly care whether said baby is a boy or a girl. Either way they will be thrilled, and I will be thrilled for them, so I don't feel like I need to know. And I think it's a little self-absorbed to *assume* that everyone else cares. I'm sorry if that makes me a sour POT (not a thing).

People often ask about gender when you're pregnant but I think they're just being polite/making conversation. It's like 'when are you due, have you been feeling well or sick,' etc. It's just a thing you ask when you're making smalltalk with someone pregnant.

helpful (1) 
 Different responder, Do you put that onto all parties?
Do you think it's self absorbed to assume people want to come to your baby shower/birthday/wedding/christening.
I actually think things like baby showers gender reveal ect are less self serving as it's not about you.
Whereas say a birthday is literally inviting people over to celebrate the day you came out of a vagina.
A wedding all attention and eyes on you.
Are they not more self centered?

helpful (0) 
 Yep they are. The more you have, and the more money you spend & people you invite, the more I start rolling my eyes. ESPECIALLY when it's clear that a gift is expected. A baby shower for your first baby is fair enough, although you could just wait until your baby is born & let people give you presents (if they so choose) at that point. For any subsequent babies, or a gender reveal AS WELL as a baby shower - you're basically just fishing for attention, instagram likes & presents.
helpful (2) 
 Hahahahaha I’ve never heard of a sour pot! And I’d never consider that to be a tamer version of sour puss, I’d just think the person saying it made a mistake and was trying to cover it up by pretending it’s a real expression 😂😂😂😂😂
helpful (2) 

How about a race reveal party?
White cake / chocolate cake?

 Lol I'm trying to think what circumstances would warrant this idea 😂 maybe an international adoption? Even in interracial couples, by the time you know what skin colour the baby has (which can lighten/darken over time) they're already out.

Maybe a chocolate vanilla marble cake for the colour of the ultrasounds 😂😂😂

helpful (0) 
 If this were a thing I would 100% get chocolate cake with yellow marble just to f**k with my husband
helpful (0) 
 I think the op was making a valid point about gender stereotypes
helpful (0) 

Yeah I'm all for a party but I find Australian's becoming very 'tacky American / try hard D grade celebrity imitators' lol Oh and the fact that we have a 'station' for everything down to tea and coffee / make up etc. LOL

Each to their own. You don't have to go if you are invited to one. If you want to spend time worrying about what other people do with their lives that's ok to, but personally I find my life is more interesting and focus on that.

I like the idea of my child pooped in the toilet drinks 🥂

I think it's a great idea! I had a baby shower and gender reveal in one party for each of my kids. It's not for everyone, one family member had a go at me for being grabby, everyone else I asked came and had a great time. I now have fun taking the piss out of them when they have parties for their kids.

So can someone please tell me how many parties there are, from the time you find out you are pregnant to babies first year.

 However many you want.
helpful (0) 
 These days gender reveal, baby shower, naming or religious baptism, first birthday, add to that smash the cake and that is a lot of parties for one person. For generations baptism, and birthday party was it. We have become way too focused on showing off and material items
helpful (0) 
 I didn't have any parties at all for mine, first birthdays was just a family thing. Babies smashing their first cakes has been around for years, only now they seem to be more official with expensive cakes and outfits. They are more a photo opportunity.
helpful (0) 

Not my thing either but what's it to you if other people want to do it?