Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Being hurt

I have met a really nice guy. I was stung very badly 6 years ago. We are really attracted to each other and nothing has happened yet. Knowing how I was hurt before he is worried about ever hurting me. Surely it is my decision to decide whether to take the risk of a relationship with him and of me being hurt??


Got an Answer?

Answers (4)

If he is so worried about it you probably have not shut up about how horrible it was for you 6 years ago

 This was my thought too, next was if he has said he was worried about hurting you maybe his heart isn't really in it?
helpful (6) 
 Funnily enough I have shut up about it. It is him who mentions it.
helpful (0) 
 You must have made a big deal out of to start with. So maybe he’s just not that into you
helpful (1) 

Most people have been hurt and have this fear. He is likely also afraid you will hurt him. Especially if you’re carrying baggage from your last relationship. If you still haven’t come to terms with what happened 6 years ago, then do not enter into a new relationship. If you feel you have, then you need to let go of the past and see this relationship for what it is. New. You dont know what is going to happen. All relationships come with risk. So if you’re willing to risk it, do it. To live a life without risk is not living st all. Good luck!

People who bang on about not wanting to hurt you are usually going to hurt you.

 So very true
helpful (1) 

If it feels right and nothing is rationally making you think you will get hurt again then yes, take the plunge! Baby steps to start with, no need to rush anything.