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Is this normal??

My daughter is 4 and terrified of dying. She speaks very openly about how she is going to die, that a man with a gun will kill her when she's a bit older. She asks us to not have a birthday so she can't get older, if she doesn't eat she can't go so therefore she won't get older etc. I am so out of my depth here now do I speak to her about this? Its getting me a bit worried.

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Answers (14)

No it's not normal. You need to see your GP and get a referral to a psychologist. It is normal for kids around that age to ask about death and dying but if your child doesn't want to eat or have birthdays...once something has a negative impact on their health it should be taken seriously.

OP Thanks I have booked an appointment with a gp for tomorrow.
helpful (1) 
 Best of luck with it all OP!
helpful (1) 
OP Thankyou very much xx
helpful (1) 
 Absolutely agree 👌
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My sons used to talk about how he knew me beforw he was born and how he picked me to be his mum and picked the tall man to be his dad (his dad is very tall). A lady with rainbow raurbow hair held him up and told him to choose his mum and dad. He used to live with lots of other kids and the lady with rainbow hair look after him. He said he remember his brother from when he lived with the lady with rainbow hair. Kids say weird shit and who knows if its true or not. He's 5 now and hasnt talked about it for anout a year. It was probably around 3.5-4yo that he started talking about it.

 He is remembering a past life
helpful (1) 

My son was the same at that age. He kept telling me he was going to die of cancer as a child. It scared me so much. He was worried about leaving me and his dad and how we’d cope without him. He was worried about us being sad when he died. I spoke to others about it and heard similar stories. Perhaps it’s an age thing? I don’t know. We just gave him lots of reassurances that he was going to be ok. He eventually stopped talking about it. Weird thing is, I saw three psychics over the years ( my son is now 13) and all said that my son died of cancer as a child in his previous life and that he holds some memory of it. They said this without me prompting anything. Creepy.

 Omfg scary shit !!!!!!
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My son used to talk about his life before he died and I became his mum
It used to scare the shit out of me as his story never changed
He would say his other mum still cries because she misses him and draw pictures all the time of his house and family from then
It was always said in an innocent way and he kinda stopped talking about it around the age of 4/5 as he became more aware of people’s reactions getting creeped out

My other son had a friend loose his dad early in life and it developed a fear that his dad would die too and he talked about death a lot in a way that was distressing to him
I took him to see a therapist as it was affecting him more than just telling stories like my other son

If she’s being upset or affected by it then you may need to seek some help for her to discuss and understand her fears
If she’s just telling them as stories then it may be more the case of you being affected by what she’s saying as upsetting without her understanding the gravity of her words

Poor little darling! I hope you find something to help her 😘

OP Thanks, were waiting on her first psych session. She cried in the doctors because he asked why doesn't she want to grow up and she said because she is scared and doesn't want to die. But next week we see a professional :)
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When my son was between 3-4 he always talked about the time when he was 15 years old and rode in a tanker, he said there were army people everywhere when they rode their tankers through the streets but the people were hiding in their houses and all the streets were quiet, very quiet. He was always very serious when talking about it, he’d remind me daily of what happened when he was 15 😂😂😂😂 I wanted to burst out laughing so much but held myself back till I dropped him at kindy. hes 5 now and has stopped talking about it now

 Maybe this is yet to happen..... has he foreseen what’s to come??
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 You might see it as hilarious but I’ve had a similar premonition
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Gosh even as an adult I think and worry about death / death of family members so I'd hate to think what it's like for this poor kiddy

Mine told me that his other mum and dad took him to hospital because he was really sick and that's where he died.

 Ok so my Q for you, how did you handle this? Did you tell him it’s rubbish... not to talk like that... or ask him why he’s saying this?
Did you get any more info or was it just one convo and never brought up again?

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my 6 yr old keeps talking about death

OP It's not so much about death it's what she is saying about not eating etc to hopefully stop death.
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This has me freaked out 😦 I’d lose my sh1t if my kids started Talking about anything like this.