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How do you deal with your child not getting invited to birthday parties???

Especially when your friends with the mum but the kids go to a different school 🤷‍♀️
I just couldn’t imagine not inviting her child to my child’s party.


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Answers (12)

Do your kids actually get along? Maybe her child only wanted his close friends. It’s no you and your friends party.

My daughter is a bit of a stage 5 clinger and as such she tends to feel closer to kids when they don’t feel it. We’ve had to teach her how to deal with parties, not everyone gets invited and that’s ok cos their party isn’t about you. It’s dissapointing but it is what it is.
She’s 7 now and it doesn’t affect her anymore.

We need to teach our kids resililiance to dissapointment not pander to it. Accept it, and move on.

Thought it sounds like you’re the more hurt one? In which case my advice applies to you

helpful (0) 

I have a close group of school friends. We all had babies around the same time. And we would hang out at each other's houses and invited each other's babies to birthday parties. But I noticed once our kids were in primary school it was not even discussed we all just would invite a few school friends and stopped inviting each others kids as they all hardly know each other now and we just catch up for coffee etc when they're at school. Try not to read anything more into it as I'm sure that she didn't mean anything malicious by it.

helpful (0) 

Personally, I'd be delighted! My son got invited to no joke 16 parties this year. After the 10th one I'd had enough, just rsvp'd "no" and binned the invites.

Honestly I don't care. Maybe she only invited school friends? Would your kid like being at a party knowing one other child?

 Grown ups wouldn’t. Kids are far more adaptable than that.
helpful (0) 

I think as kids grow older and go to their own schools , we can no longer ‘expect’ for them to want to keep the friends that we had for them. Eg is mother’s group friends or friends we have, the children don’t NEED to continue these friendships if they don’t want to. Its just something that will naturally take its course. Don’t be upset or offended by it tho

My son has been invited to one party this year. Last year, zero. There is nothing you can do, even though it really sucks. I’m just hoping as the kids get older and the parents have less say in who is on the invite list, there will be more inclusion.

 I think it the kids that don’t always include. I am guessing some set limits on numbers too.
helpful (0) 
 ^ I was thinking more the kid gets a say on who comes rather than mum. So if he says what 5 friends can come instead of mum who is more likely to invite kids from her mum circle. I’m not part of mum circles but my son has friends
helpful (0) 
 How old is your son if I may ask?
I went through similar with my kinder (5) year old girl. Got excluded from a close friend’s party because that girl’s mum is friends with a mum that I don’t particularly get on with. She was the only girl not there. I didn’t even say boo to my child, took her to a movie, got her ears pierced and had everyone talking about her gorgeous diamond stud on the Monday morning, instead of the girls silly little party that sounded so boring anyway 😬

helpful (0) 
 Hi, he’s 8. 2 years ago I watched as a parent handed invites to everyone in his class but him. Luckily he didn’t notice. It was a very cliquey group of mums that year and I was very much on the outer.
helpful (0) 
 Yeah no I think it’s the other way round, I stopped inviting even some of my good friends to my kids parties from around 5.
Our kids just didn’t get along super well so they weren’t who my kids wanted to spend the day with.
That’s 100% fine in my opinion. It’s their party not mine.

helpful (3) 

Maybe it’s a strictly school friends birthday?
I know I’ve done the same in the past. And the non school friends get an invite if I’m throwing a family do.
Maybe sus out the plans when you chat with her. Jack must be excited about his party how many kids are you expecting!
Just explain to your child sometimes people have to stick to certain numbers because of $$ reasons 🤷🏻‍♀️

 Or sometimes you just don’t have to invite everyone you know... why make the mum seem like a tight arse
helpful (3) 
 lol how is sticking to numbers due to money suggesting that the mum is a tight a*s 🤦🏻‍♀️
helpful (0) 

Honestly don’t care. I’ll catch up the mum after for coffee and wine. Simple

Maybe it is a school friend party. Maybe your kids are not as close friends are you and your friend are. Maybe they had a small party.
Honestly the older my kids have gotten the less people they have at parties and my friend's kids don't come to my kids parties and other way round. It's not done to spite or upset anyone they just invite the kids they see everyday over the kids they see once every few months.

Thanks for the replies.
It’s not just school friends another boy is invited. It was his mum that told me my child might not be invited.
Just abit if a shock it’s our first year at school and let’s just say we have learnt a lot.

The birthday kid may feel like he/she has to “babysit” your kid coz no one else knows your kid. I wouldn’t be bothered by it and neither would my child. My child wouldn’t want to go to a party where they only know the birthday kid.